The conversation among new parents often revolves around their childbirth stories – ranging from the joyful to the challenging. Birth story podcasts and dedicated websites provide curated accounts, while embossed leather “birth story” journals are now popular baby shower gifts. The fascination with this emotionally complex and pivotal life event extends to its potential implications for how individuals will navigate the journey of parenthood.
In a recent study led by Geoffrey Corner, a former graduate student in the author’s lab, an exploration into the narratives shared by new parents about their baby’s birth revealed intriguing insights. The study suggests that the levels of “meaning-making” in these stories can serve as predictors for relationship quality and parenting stress during the initial months of a child’s life.
Constructing Meaning in Parenthood
Humans have a longstanding tradition of using stories to comprehend challenging experiences, engaging in a process known as “meaning-making.” This involves finding order in chaos, making sense of unexpected events, identifying silver linings, and weaving seemingly random occurrences into a coherent narrative.
As renowned writer Joan Didion aptly put it, “we tell ourselves stories in order to live.” This process of “meaning-making” holds a potential protective role, as demonstrated by Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl’s assertion in “Man’s Search for Meaning” that finding purpose can prevent bitterness and disillusionment after great loss.
While childbirth is typically associated with joy, it also introduces unpredictability, fear, and even life-threatening situations. Acknowledging the potential impact of difficult labors on mental health, the study hypothesized that “meaning-making” could play a crucial role in promoting resilience among new parents.
To test these hypotheses, the study collected birth stories from 77 couples participating in a longitudinal study on the transition to parenthood. Couples were interviewed at the hospital shortly after their infant’s birth, and their narratives were analyzed for instances of “meaning-making.”
Listening for Meaning-Making in Birth Stories
A team of coders identified three categories of “meaning-making” in the narratives:
Sense-making: Identifying reasons for events or making connections to show their meaningfulness.
Benefit-finding: Pointing out silver linings or unexpected positive effects.
Change in identity: Describing how an event has transformed one’s sense of self.
Despite couples telling their stories collaboratively, the study tracked “meaning-making” separately for each partner. Notably, the majority of participants engaged in some form of “meaning-making,” with “change in identity” language being the least prevalent.
Mothers tended to use more “sense-making” and “benefit-finding” language, and both partners in a couple generally exhibited similar levels of “meaning-making.”
Impact on Relationship Satisfaction and Parenting Stress
Analyzing the narratives, the study explored whether “meaning-making” predicted relationship satisfaction and parenting stress. The transition to parenthood is often considered a “crisis event,” with potential declines in relationship quality.
Mothers who employed more “sense-making” and “benefit-finding” language experienced a smaller drop in relationship satisfaction compared to those who used less. Similarly, fathers using more “sense-making” and “benefit-finding” language reported lower parenting stress at six months postpartum.
Interestingly, partners of fathers who expressed more “change in identity” language reported lower parenting stress, suggesting that fathers who perceived parenthood as transformative may assist mothers in coping better. Conversely, when mothers demonstrated more “meaning-making,” their partners reported more parenting stress, suggesting a potential need for nuanced support.
While the study acknowledges its limitations, such as a relatively small sample size of cohabiting heterosexual parents, it underscores the significance of storytelling in family transitions. For therapists working with new parents post-difficult birth, encouraging them to seek meaning in their birth story may facilitate a smoother transition to parenthood. Journaling and storytelling exercises are proposed as valuable tools for processing feelings about childbirth experiences.
In essence, the birth of a baby is not only a momentous event but also the genesis of a compelling story – a story well worth telling.
