Becoming a new mum is a time filled with joy, but it can also be overwhelming. Balancing the influx of family and friends eager to meet your newborn can be logistically challenging. However, one new mum recently shared her surprise at the unexpected behavior of some of her friends’ children during visits to her home.
Posting on the popular forum Mumsnet, the mum expressed her frustration, saying, “Just an observation, but it really annoyed me, and honestly, I was surprised.” She explained that since the birth of her first baby, she has had numerous visitors, including friends and family, many of whom brought their children along, which she was fine with. However, she was unprepared for how these children behaved once inside her home.
Children Roaming Unsupervised
The mum recounted how the visiting children were allowed to roam freely around her house without their parents intervening. “Any children that have been in my home recently have literally been allowed to roam around the house by their parents without an eye batted,” she noted.
One particularly troubling incident involved two children who wandered upstairs to her bedroom, with their parents seemingly unconcerned. Another child repeatedly opened and closed the front door, knocking on it while the baby was trying to sleep in the next room. A third child came into the living room and turned on every device they could find.
Is This Normal?
Uncertain whether her expectations were too high, the mum turned to the forum for advice, asking if this behavior was typical or if she was right to expect better manners from her friends’ children. “I just can’t imagine letting my kids roam around someone’s house I’m visiting, touch whatever they want, and make as much noise as they want. Surely parents have to have some control and manners on their kids?” she questioned.
The post received numerous comments, with many offering advice or sharing similar experiences. One child-free commenter suggested that curious children learn through exploration and advised removing breakable or dangerous objects before visitors with kids arrive. “Come back to your post in five years and see if you still feel the same,” she added.
Mixed Reactions from Other Mums
Not all mums agreed with the relaxed approach. One mum responded bluntly, stating, “As a mum to a five-year-old, I think it’s feral as f**k to let your kids wander around someone’s home like that.”
Other commenters shared their own experiences with poorly behaved visitors, with one user admitting she had ended friendships over such incidents. “I had one set of (now ex) friends who not only allowed their kids to do this but did it themselves too. They would wander the house, including the adults’ bedroom, and pick up stuff (not toys) to give to the kids to play with,” she wrote.
Another commenter, who has more experience as a parent, also expressed disapproval: “It’s extremely bad manners not to parent your children when they are in someone else’s house. I would not have let mine wander like that.”
Setting Boundaries
One user questioned whether the original poster (OP) had set any boundaries when her guests arrived. “No, this isn’t acceptable. However, why didn’t you just say, ‘Can you stay downstairs, please?’ It’s your house. You make the rules,” they suggested.
Another mum shared a more laid-back approach, explaining that the behavior might depend on the age of the visiting children. She emphasized the importance of maintaining a relaxed atmosphere but admitted to using a little white lie to keep a child from wandering upstairs in her home. “I told him we couldn’t go up there as it belonged to the man next door, and he got very angry if we went up there,” she said, adding that the child ultimately complied, despite expressing some skepticism.
Conclusion
The discussion highlighted the varying perspectives on how to handle visiting children and the importance of setting boundaries in your own home. While some parents believe in giving children more freedom, others see the need for stricter supervision, especially when visiting someone else’s house. Ultimately, the consensus seemed to be that it’s perfectly reasonable to expect visitors—adults and children alike—to respect the rules and boundaries of your home.
